Author Archives: 5tephen 4eo

Flight carry-on restrictions

While we’re at it, here are seven more items that should also be banned from carry-ons: 1. BeltSome cowboy may use this to whip the pilot into action (or worse, inaction). 2. High-heel stilettosA hard nudge by one of these pointy devices can be deadly. 3. PenYeah, you’ll need this to complete the immigration forms,… Read More »

Exercise? Forget it!

It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month. A man spent $400 to join a health club last year, but hasn’t lost a pound. Apparently,… Read More »

I die, you also die

Counterterrorism experts with the UK intelligence service MI5 are reportedly aware of a new technique that will help suicidal terrorists avoid detection at airports after discovering increasingly strong chatter regarding the subject on extremist websites. MI5 told Daily Mail that suicide bombers may now surgically implant explosives in their bodies. The explosive, commonly known as… Read More »