The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga introduces Adlerian psychology through a dialogue between a philosopher and a student. This Socratic-style conversation aims to challenge entrenched beliefs about happiness, interpersonal relationships, and the pursuit of a meaningful life.
The central premise of the book is that happiness is a choice, and much of what holds people back from a fulfilling life lies in their attachment to external validation, past trauma, and social expectations.
While I found the book’s ideas refreshing and liberating, others seemed to feel the content comes across as contrived or even condescending. The dialogue format, intended to simplify and make abstract psychological concepts relatable, can be polarizing.
That’s probably why some people argue that the philosopher’s tone at times feels dismissive, leaving little room for nuance in addressing the student’s struggles. However, this stylistic choice could reflect the book’s goal of shaking readers out of their comfort zones, which may unsettle those who prefer more affirming or agreeable approaches to self-help.
The book’s bold rejection of widely accepted views, such as the idea that trauma dictates one’s future, might alienate those who feel their experiences are invalidated by this perspective. Some may also take issue with the seemingly oversimplified solutions to complex problems, interpreting them as overly idealistic. Yet, for those open to confronting challenging ideas, the book provides a powerful framework to rethink personal agency and take ownership of their happiness.
Ultimately, The Courage to Be Disliked thrives on provoking thought and encouraging readers to question their assumptions. It’s not a book for those seeking gentle reassurances or quick fixes; instead, it’s a deep, sometimes unsettling exploration of how to liberate oneself from self-imposed constraints. If you are willing to engage with its ideas, even when you feel uncomfortable, the book has the potential to inspire profound personal transformation.
