Classic one-liners

By | May 16, 2008

Men get laid, but women get screwed.
Quentin Crisp, English writer

Women need a reason to have sex – men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. “Please, I’ll only put it in for a minute.” What am I, a microwave?
Beverly Mickins, American comedienne

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, “I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.”
Jerry Seinfeld

When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
Warren Farrell, American psychologist

Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

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