Tag Archives: funny stuff

Dangerous element

Hazardous Material Information SheetMaterial Safety Data SheetWomen – A Chemical Analysis Element: WomenSymbol: WoDiscoverer: AdamAtomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40 – 200kgOccurrences: Copious quantities in all Urban Area. Physical Properties1. Surface usually covered in painted film2. Boils at nothing; freezes without any known reason3. Melt if given special treatment4. Bitter… Read More »

Natural laws? (2)

Boob’s Law:You always find something in the last place you look. Weiler’s Law:Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself. Conway’s Law:In any organization, there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired. Iron Law of Distribution:Them that has, gets. Heller’s Law:The first myth… Read More »

Surely they don’t mean it?

Sometimes, what matters is not what is said, but how it is said. Notice in a Japanese hotel:You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In a Bangkok dry cleaner’s:Drop your trousers here for best resultsIn an East African newspaper:A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the… Read More »

Historic moments in office automation

3,000 B.C.The Chinese invent the handheld calculator. They call it ABACUS (short for “automatic business accounting and calculation utility system”). The invention enables the Bronze Age Man to count higher than 10 without removing his shoes. Other advantages include portability and a battery-less design. But it has one major drawback: no print-out capability. 600 B.C.The… Read More »