“Not so Hallmark” greetings

Some wordings you may wish to consider the next time you write a greeting card:

I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you… I’ve changed my mind.

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am…
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

Someday I hope to get married… but not to you.

We have been friends for a very long time… what say we stop?

I’m so miserable without you… it’s almost like you’re here.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

How could two people as beautiful as you…
Have such an ugly baby?

Related post:
Rejected Hallmark cards

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